


Magic Mirror On the Wall, Who’s the Sickest of them All?

by NewTimelineNewMe



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Amnesia, Cindy is she/her, Deceit Sanders is a Good Friend, Deceit has extra arms, Depression, Elaine is he/him, Gen, Guard is nonbinary, Hallie might be my favorite besides Remy, He has a side of the imagination, How Do I Tag, Implied/Referenced Self Harm, Kinda, Minor Character Death, No Smut, Non binary Remus (implied), Non sexual tentacles, Remus angst, Remus being Remus, Remus is a soft boi, Remus learns self love, Remus loves his village, Remys gonna feel real bad, She’s based of of Cinderella, Stressed, Suicide, Temporary Character Death, Tentacles, The others just want to help, Unsympathetic Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Unsympathetic Sleep | Remy Sanders, Virgil has claws, Ze/Zem character, and a mess, but he is slaying it with those tentacles, chapter four will be like twice the length of the other chapters, he has one just like Roman, im sorry my trash son, remus is depressed, there isn’t really a plot here but oh well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-06
Updated: 2020-02-19
Packaged: 2021-02-22 10:29:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22581385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NewTimelineNewMe/pseuds/NewTimelineNewMe
Summary: The evil Shadows that lurked the border between Roman and Remus’ imagination were supposed to be held under control by Remy.This is what happens when some Shadows start attacking Remus’ village, how Roman seems to always side against his brother, and how a simple plan for revenge can go terribly, terribly wrong.
Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus “The Duke” Sanders & Everyone, demus - Relationship
Comments: 31
Kudos: 77





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I really put him through the ringer, didn’t I? lol sorry not sorry

Remus stared at the mirror.

It was wrong. So wrong, but he couldn’t figure out why. 

He ran his fingers over the glass, feeling for any imperfections in the smooth surface but finding none. 

So what was so wrong about it?

Remus felt into the magic (because of course it was a magic mirror, all villains had one, and Roman had clearly cast him as one) but couldn’t find anything wrong with that, either. At the most, it was a little stale. 

What was wrong then?

He picked it off the wall and flung it to the ground, sure that that would solve the problem. Well, he hadn’t really meant to, magic mirrors were a pain to conjure, but impulse was kinda his middle name. Legally now, as he changed it back from stupid.

But even with the mirror lying shattered at his feet, Remus still felt wrong. Icky. Gross. What the hell was going on? 

He felt his tentacles explode from his back, bursting through the thin layer of will he had that kept them in. Sure, Deceit may have extra arms, and Virgil had claws, but his appendages added to the feeling of icky instead of bringing relief like releasing them usually did.

The six flailed about, popping into vision just long enough for Remus to see that they had become even more colored. _Great. Just great. Expose how much he wanted to be accepted to everyone, why don’t you._

Black with navy highlights. Teal with grey highlights. Red with yellow highlights. Purple and black. Black and yellow. 

And then his least favorite one, the only one with more than two colors. Yellow that assaulted his eyes, white that stood out from all the black, purple that clashed horribly with his outfit, and grey. He couldn’t think of anything to say about the grey, but it grey-ted on him nonetheless.

They even seemed to replicate their personalities. 

The black and navy one was the easiest to control, it’s movements quick and precise. It was the one that moved him either out of the danger that his side of the imagination brought, or put itself in between the two. 

The teal and grey loved affection, and was normally curled up around either Remus or a different tentacle. It was the first to notice injuries that Remus forgot in the heat of adrenaline, and helped him not die of blood loss many times. 

The red and yellow one may be his least favorite besides the multi-colored one, if only based on who it represented. It would throw itself into danger, often leading Remus into darker spaces, but seemed to grow larger whenever a threat presented itself. 

The purple and black one was...interesting. It was the only one to change color. At first, it had been entirely black. Then, Virgil had moved to the light sides and when he had pulled them out, it was purple and black (definitely not making him cry what are you talking about). It too was wrapped around him, and when trouble came, he normally hid behind red. It didn’t like the light, and tried to stay in the shadows as much as possible. While the other tentacles grew, the purple one just kinda appeared, like the yellow and the multi-colored one. 

The black and yellow one would be his favorite, if he had to pick one. It was cocky, often jockeying with red for space. It also just appeared, which no, didn’t make him cry. No, because Deceit had nothing to do with the yellow tentacle, and anyways didn’t even want anything to do with Virgil, and any conclusion he made was illogical. Yeah. Not because the thought made him cry. It slithered around, and the others seemed to ignore him, which left Remus making sure it got pets.

Then there was the multi-colored one. It was sporadic and frustrating. Some days, it would be crawling all over the place while others it wouldn’t let go of black whereas another it wouldn’t let go of Remus. Strangest of all, it seemed to reflect Remus’ mood, making it the only one to have any real connection with him. All the more reason to hate it, he supposed. 

All these sprouted out of his back (well, appeared in purple, yellow and multi’s cases) and surrounded him, until he was covered by warm and slightly sticky creatures. 

Remus laughed. He knew the problem with the mirror; it was him. He was the problem. Because he couldn’t go for more then 24 hours without letting six possibly sentient creatures sprout of of his spine and it felt so _good_ to let them out but everyone else saw them as a freak deformity. That’s was he was, wasn’t it? A deformity. Thomas got the fucked up genetic code to place him in his head, and he was just a mental illness. Logic said so himself. One in fifty people.

All he was was a sickness. A disease. Funny, for how obsessed he was with them for the longest time. All he was doing was hurting Thomas. Stupid. Freak. Sick. Icky.

A simple thought and all the mirrors in his side of the imagination shattered. There. No one would have to see him now. No need to see the freak. 

With a groan, he pulled back his tentacles. There was a sickening crack as his spine popped to accommodate the extra limbs, a sound that Remus took odd pleasure in. _Of course you would like that, you sick freak._

Remus stood up, readjusting to the extra pressure on his back, already feeling the strain to hold them in. 

He need a drink. No, maybe not. He needed...he needed...

He needed to fix the mirrors.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah I changed it to 4 chapters, sorry! I didn’t want to make one super long but I couldn’t cut this out!
> 
> Also, this is my first time really trying out world building so bear with me and my gazillion OCs

Remus stumbled out the door and back into the Imagination. 

The forest surrounding his castle gleamed with the eyes of unseen creatures that could be anything from bunnies to gorgons. He walked along one of the few paths that would lead him to the main town. Once he arrived, one of his constructs, Elaine ran up to him.

“Your Highness! All the mirrors in the kingdom broke, is this a sign of bad luck?”

“No. Don’t worry.” Remus said. He hadn’t thought what his subjects would think (another reason he was such a bad leader, he supposed) when the mirrors broke, but he was calmer, now.

His eyes flittered from the Thomas-lookalike to the town. It was his longest running creation, and where he was most prideful of. In all his land, little harmless life could survive all the shadows that rampaged, but their defenses were strong. It was a quaint little thing, something that the other sides would laugh about if they knew, but he couldn’t stand the thought of it being harmed. Which of course, meant he was always worried for their safety, as the thought would never leave his mind. 

“Well, okay then. Look! We voted to change the color scheme again for our outfits! We kept the green, of course, but then...”

Remus let Elaine’s chatter wash over him as he turned to study the outfit. He will say, the lighter green made their eyes stand out more, and he loved the little elf shoes.

He was proud of his village, with all the characters who had developed from constant care to be able to get things done even when he wasn’t in the Imagination. Even now, they scurried about, changing the flags (as was custom for every hour).

Elaine continued to talk about Ermando, but soon said something that caught his attention quick.

“Although there is some not good news-“

“What is it?” Honestly, it could be anything from a simple disagreement to rampaging Shadows, and _god_ he hoped it was the former.

“While fortifying the walls, some Shadows attacked Guard.”

Remus felt his heart drop. “What were they?”

“At first glance, it looked like a Doubt, but based on how they are acting-“

“But they’re alive?”

“Yes, but...” Elaine hesitated. “It was Hatred.”

“Shit. Are they with Michal?”

Elaine barely started to nod before Remus ran off to Michal’s house. Of course, the only things he could think about on the way was Michal’s pale face as he washed off their head with a damp cloth, as Guard muttered horrible things. 

So he thought, so it was.

Guard was laying on the couch, twitching and muttering incomprehensible phrases as Michal, the one and only doctor for Ermando, wiped his face with a cloth, looking pale.

He glanced up when the door slammed behind Remus. “Your highness.”

“Michal. Elaine said it was a Hatred?”

Michal nodded. “His breathing’s evened out. At this point, all we can do is hope.”

“And Thomas?”

“At worse, will have a headache.”

“None of it will leak through, right?”

“Of course. I wouldn’t let that happen.” Michal hesitated before speaking again. “You know that if anything changes-“

“Yes.” Remus said, his voice clipped. “I do. Go make tea, or something.”

Michal scurried off, and Remus headed towards Guard’s bedside. Their face was pale, and it twitched with almost every word. It was quiet enough to where Remus could almost hear the thoughts.

“Stupid...worthless...failure...go-go die...”

“Oh, Guard,” Remus said. “None of that is true. You know that.”

Michal came back in the room, carrying two cups of tea. “He had a fever but was lucid enough to take some medicine. In my opinion, he’ll make a full recovery soon.”

“What about the walls?”

“Well...” Michal said. “I’m not the guy to ask about that. All I know is Guard got attacked by a Hatred and now he’s doing better.”

“Who should I ask?”

“Maybe...Cindy? She was messenger for this week.”

“Thank you.” Remus said, standing up. “I shall be off now.” He stood up, leaving the Michal and Guard. “Goodbye.” He cast one more look at Guard before turning on his heel and walking out the door.

In a moment, he was at Cindy’s house. He knocked on the door, and heard ashes falling as it creaked forward.

“Your Highness.” Cindy said, ashes swirling around her.

“Cindy. I heard you were the messenger?”

“For this week, yes.” She paused, shaking her head to get rid of the ashes. “Is there a message you would like me to deliver?” She asked, her voice monotone as ever.

Remus looked at the girl, for a moment distracted by the ashes that poured out of her face. Out of her everything, really. Nose, mouth, tear ducts, ears, hair follicles, creating gentle waves and a white noise effect.

He shook his head, nudging back into reality. “Yes. News on the wall efforts?”

“Complete.” Cindy said. “Guard-“

“I know about him. What about the other workers?”

“All fine. Tried to help, but it was too late.”

“Were any other shadows spotted?”

Cindy shook her head, making ashes fall all around her. “Only one.”

“What was it?”

“Soldier believed it to be an Apathy.”

“Sleep should have gotten that one, though!” Apathy’s were his domain. At least they were, last time Remus checked. Which, admittedly had been a while, but Sleep should have got it! “Thanks.”

“Of course.” Cindy shut her door.

Sleep _should_ have gotten that one. 

Looks like Remus needed to go talk to a certain function.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A second to explain, if you will. Neither the sides nor constructs will leave a body when dead. Technically, neither can die. When a side dies, they will wake up in their room a week later. If a construct dies, they fade. Their character can be revived, but all of their character development is lost. So, recreating a deceased construct can and will lead to even more sadness. Because of this, the constructs tend to never be recreated, unless they are serve no other purpose than pure muscle.

“Sleep.” Remus said, appearing in his part of Roman’s castle. 

Remy jerked back, surprised at his sudden appearance. “Remus.”

“Right.” Remus nodded, deciding to cut the chase. “A Hatred broke the barriers.”

Remy did a double take. “You sure, gurl? I get all the shadows.”

“Well, you didn’t get this one.” He snarled. “It attacked one of my people.”

“Sheesh, sorry,” Remy said, holding up his hands as if to protect himself, “But it’ll be fine, right doll? You can just make a new character.”

Remus could feel his face turn red with anger. Remy could obviously see it too. When he spoke, his voice multiplied. “ **You know that’s not how that works. Your laziness will not be excused, especially when it causes harm to my citizens.** ”

Remus grabbed Remy’s arm, enjoying the little squeak that he made, and pulled him down, directly to Roman’s throne room. Roman was startled to see him, and his worried face multiplied when he saw Remus’ furious expression.

“Remus?” Roman said, hopping down from his throne. “Is everything...alright?”

Remus marched forward, flinging Remy into Roman’s arm. “ _He,_ ” Remus said with venom lacing him tone, “Has endangered my citizens with his foolish laziness. He has let Shadows roam the border with no control, and they attacked my main village. One citizen was attacked-“

Roman interrupted Remus by laughing. Then laughing some more. Then, some more. “I-Oh, I’m-it’s just-“ He took in a wheezy breath, Remus staring at him in shock. “You-you have a village? Not even a town, a village? What, are the citizens all made outta dicks or something?”

Remus inhales, feeling the magic of the imagination work so that now, there was a town exactly like his village but with all the citizens made out of dicks, barely able to prevent the magic from effecting his existing town. 

“No.” He said through gritted teeth. “One, no. Two, that’s not the point. Sleep put one of my citizens in danger. You’re not just gonna let him walk away from this, are you?”

Roman shrugged, and Remus couldn’t believe it. “I mean, did Remy hurt them himself?”

“Does it matter?”

“Uh, yeah?”

“Remy let a shadow roam untamed, and it attacked my settlement.”

“So, no. Remy didn’t hurt your person.”

“Yes, he did.”

“Okay!” Roman said, clapping his hands, “Remy, apologize, and I sent a healing spell, so...Guard, right? Will be fine, and then we can all get back to our daily lives.”

Remus stared at him. “You can’t be serious.”

“I don’t see what else would have to be done.”

Remus spluttered. Roman, taking this as agreement, clapped his hands twice and Remus found himself standing in front of Michal’s house.

He brushed off the vertigo and knocked on the door, seeing as how he may as well check while he was there. There was no answer, so Remus just creaked open the door and gasped.

Guard was seizing, their face pale with veins popping out. They twitched all over, looking creepily like something you’d see during an exorcism. All that was missing was the demon limbs and the creepy Latin.

So he thought....

Guard’s head rotated around, his limbs popping from their sockets to try and escape any way they could. Michal’s face broke out in sweat, and he yelled at Remus to come help.

He exploded in a flurry of action, coming closer while his tentacles popped out. They worked to hold Guard down-all but tying them to the couch. 

There was one huge jerk of Guard’s body before it fell, limp. Apparently, Guard had passed out. 

Remus collapsed, rolling the tentacles back into his spine. He glanced at Michal: a warning not to tell anyone. Few actually knew about his tentacles. Deceit was the only side who knew, and Elaine knew. Everyone else who knew knew through freak events such as this.

“I’ll go make tea,” Remus said, knowing Michal’s fondness for the stuff. 

“I’ll make sure they’re alright.” Michal said, pulling out a stethoscope. 

Remus nodded and headed off to the kitchen, barely making it past the door when he heard Michal shout his name. 

“Yeah?” He asked, popping his head through the doorway.

Just in time to see Guard fade from the couch.

Remus stood in shock, staring at the beige couch. “Did...”

Michal turned to face him, his face full of fear. “I didn’t do anything! I just got out the scope and-“ He sobbed.

Remus felt a sick churning through his gut as he realized what had happened. After the spilt, any creatures that tried to cross the border between the two kingdoms were either corrupted to become shadows, or died. The ‘healing spell’ that Roman had cast during ’court’ passed over the border.

Meaning Roman just killed Guard.

His face twitched with rage, only buckled down by Michal’s sobs. He went over, silencing him with a simple wave of his hand (a trick he had learned from Deceit) and patted his back. 

“I’m leaving. Don’t know when I’ll be back. Don’t wait.” His voice was hollow. He was sure that if he could see his face, his eyes would be hollow too. 

Still silenced, Michal nodded, and Remus walked out the door.

Remus walked all the way to the border, sinking out and reappearing on the other side. He continued his walk, killing any constructs that got in his was with his morning star. Maybe he should have cut back, as by the time he reached Roman’s castle, his outfit was almost completely splattered with blood. 

He walked up the stairs, hatred in his eyes, the scene on the couch replaying over and over. 

“Remus?”

Someone asked from behind him. He whipped out his morning star and a satisfying clunk told him he had hit his mark.

“Rude.” The same voice said. He whirled around to see Deceit.

“What are you doing here.” He questioned, his voice flat. 

Deceit raised his eyebrow. “I could ask you the same. I’m here because Roman did not ask for my help, because as you don’t know I am not literally lies and deceit, and therefore am horrible at acting. You?”

“He killed my construct. I’m gonna kill him.”

Deceit frowned. “...Whose blood are you covered in?”

Remus faux-smiled. “Does it matter? You’ve never cared before.”

“Remy-“

“ **Where.** ” Remus said, his voice multiplying.

“What?”

“Sleep. Remy. Where is he, I’m killing him too.”

“Okay, Remus,” Deceit said, stepping forward and grabbing his wrist, “I think you should calm down for a second.”

“No.”

“You know that killing a side is never permanent. Will it really be worth it?”

“Yes.”

“ _Remus,_ ”

“ _Deceit,_ ” Remus mocked his tone. “I’ve made up my mind.”

“Go home, Remus.” Deceit warned, his tone reaching dangerous levels as his grip increased on his arm. 

Remus ripped his hand out of Deceit’s, glaring at him. Something seemed to change in his face, and he trapped Remus into a hug, forcing his face into his chest. 

Remus squawked, his arms flailing around. He felt a spin and then heard the familiar jingle of Ermando. Deceit only released him then, and he stared at Remus. “This is for your own good, honey.”

“What?” He asked.

“I’m...” He seemed to be debating something. “I’m going to block your magic. Just until you calm down.”

Remus opened his mouth to protest, but before he could, Deceit disappeared into the ground. Remus tried to follow, but his magic stubbornly refused to work.

Remus sighed and sat down on the ground, allowing his tentacles to pop out of his spine. He moved to the wall of his village, not really finding it in himself to care that his subjects were seeing them. 

Sitting on top of the wall, he wrapped his tentacles around him and glanced at the view. His kingdom was beautiful, with the rolling fog to the crooked trees to the Shadow-

Wait, what?

Remus’ eyes snapped back to the Shadow, watching as it slowly trotted closer. He felt Red try to attack it, but saw Navy hold them back. It was coming closer, just close enough for Remus to see the blue striped fur. Another hatred. 

Where was Sleep?

The Hatred was crawling closer, and Remus felt his protective instincts kick in as it batted at one of the furthermost flags. He lunged into combat without a second thought of _Hey, maybe it’s a bad idea to charge one of the most dangerous creatures of the mindscape without any powers._

So sue him, he was impulse! And his friend was just killed by one of these!

But it wasn’t the best idea, especially when Hatred slammed him to the ground, making Remus hear a crunch. Especially when he remembered that he couldn’t use magic.

The gates of the village were too far away for him to hobble to with a broken leg, and the Hatred just kept creeping closer.

There really wasn’t anything he could do. 

As Remus felt the Hatred bite his neck, he gave a final curse to Deceit for leaving him so useless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suck at writing action so bear with me on the last part


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So uh yeah it’s six chapters now-that’s only cause you got a epilogue. 
> 
> Then I’m gonna be working on the whole series!

It was dark.

Cold. 

The ground pounded beneath his feet.

What was the ground? What was he?

‘He’ didn’t really sound right. ‘She’, then? That seemed worse. ‘They’. In the middle.

The ground pounded beneath their feet. Trees whipped past, cutting up their face as they tore through the wood. 

What were they running from, again? 

They stopped, looking around. Nothing they could see broke the wood; it surrounded them in all directions. Now that they had stopped, dread filled them up, a bottled fear coming up for something they couldn’t name. 

What was their name? They couldn’t quite remember, and any clues that their black and green outfit would provide had probably been torn up with the fabric.

They felt the hot breath of a creature and started running again. 

Away, away, away. Their mind yelled. Away from what? Something was there. Obviously. 

Distantly, they recalled the ‘flight or fight’ method of thinking, and rationalized this to be their body reacting in a flightly way. Why they recalled that, especially right now, they weren’t sure. 

Flight he thought, so flight he did. Away, away, away. 

They tripped over a branch, sending themselves spiraling into the ground. They scrambled to get up, but their leg, which had been feeling sore for as long as they could remember, crippled beneath them. 

They shouted, feeling a sticky thing on their face. Squinting in the dark wood, they could see that it was...a creature, reminiscent of an octopus leg. Tentacle, right?

It was Red, and it kept tapping his face over and over. 

“I’m alright,” They said, pushing it away. It went back, but not far. They looked at the creature, totally not freaking out when he saw that it was attached to their back. Was-was that normal?

A voice filled the air around him, the temperature slowly growing as the worse became clearer. _Freak. Disease. Fuck up._

“Stop.” They whimpered. The voice that filled the fog didn’t, chanting those four words over and over. 

_Freak. Disease. Fuck up._

Another tentacle thing lifted them up, supporting their bad leg and working as a new one, leaving them to hobble away from the log as fast as they could-granted, still pretty fast. 

They started to feel extremely scared, enough to give them the adrenaline boost to hobble away. Keep moving, he told himself. Keep moving, and everything will be fine. 

They crumpled under their leg again, it all becoming too much. Tears sprang to their eyes as they cried out. 

Suddenly, they were filled with real good feelings. A hug from a dad. A kiss from a friend. A mug of hot coco on a cold day. A game played with friends. The rare yet flaming sparkle of Virgil’s laughter. The confirmation that they did love Re-

_Worthless. Failure. Unwanted._

The feelings inside their chest turned against them. Where a brief comfort had once resided now stood a sharp harsh reminder. Of what, he didn’t quite know, but it was something bad, that he was sure of.

The hug was too tight, suffocating. Deceit kissing him on the cheek, making it clear that his affection was misplaced, and Deceit could never like them. The mug burnt in their hands, and the others laughed when they told them. Virgil, always laughing at, never with, them.

**Run.**

Their purple tentacle pushed them off the ground, and they were running again, away from the memories, leaving just the fleeting thoughts.

Who was Virgil? Who was Deceit? Didn’t that mean lying?

They jumped over another branch, barely avoiding it. Another tentacle, this one a light blue, grabbed a bandaid from nowhere and stuck it on his face. They also plucked something that fell from his outfit, handing it to him when he felt safe enough to stop for a moment. 

It was titled so eloquently, ‘What to do if You are Running through the Woods with No Memory’. 

Well, that seemed oddly specific, and relatable. They unfolded it, and started to read. The first paragraph was simply called ‘The Basics’. 

“You are Remus Sanders, to start out. I didn’t really want to pester Jaa for details, but she’s the only other person so far who knows what it’s like. So apparently, idk it may be different for you (us?) bc ur a side so but whatever. But like anyway I guess it’s Ike scared or yeah but it only lasts for like a week. But uh basically run. That’s it. Oh and trust ur instincts cause if I (we?) get caught by a shadow, um I’m writing this with Dee and Vee and they said that they’d be told and helping or whatever so they can see what’s going on. So yeah basically trust ur instincts and run. That’s it. Have a good week.”

Scanning the rest of the paper, it looked like it was a brief description of what each person was like. Deceit and Virgil had the longest descriptions, and they were linked with memories, so they read them first.

_Worthless. Useless. Unlovable._

...After they moved again.

They scrambled up into a tree that was quite a ways from where they had stopped, and took out the paper again. 

“Deceit: is a friend. Good friend. Makes u happy. Nice memories, and you are his family. Um tbh not really sure why I’d read this, like running through the Forrest sounds like such a Disney thing (see Roman) seems like a much higher priority, but whatever. I’m mostly writing this cause I’m bored. Basically: Deceit=friend. Talks like it’s Opposite Day. Is a good person no matter what ur instincts tell u.”

They flipped to the other person who’s name had come up in the memories. This one was mostly long because someone scribbled out the entire thing and then wrote one word beneath it. 

“Virgil: ~~Good friend too. Like Deceit, in family. Is dark and likes hoodies. We like talking about extensional dread questions.~~ ” Underneath that, there was just one word written. “Bitch.” They wondered what had happened between the two to create that, but as the writer had said earlier, he had to move.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, couple of things.
> 
> 1\. This is my first fic that I’ve ever finished, but the series is far from over!  
> 2\. I wasn’t really sure where this was going. I had a vague plot and a few ideas, sorry if the flow is weird.  
> 3\. PLEASE let me know if I used Ze/zem pronouns wrong or if there are any errors. I wrote this while sick, so thanks.
> 
> Also quick note:  
> I imagine the other sides gathered around him in his bed. Whenever Remus is feeling Logical or the emotions, I’d like to think that it was the sides helping him whilst in the mindscape.

Remus was tired. He (although he/him pronouns still sounded weird) had been running for a whole day, and couldn’t get any rest. It seemed like the second he stayed in one place for more than a minute, the voice crept in.

_Worthless. Fuck up. Stupid._

**Run.**

He dropped to the ground, a root catching this foot. That was happening more and more as he got more tired, and even as adrenaline pumped through his veins, it crashed after only a moment.

Their lungs were burning, feeling as if he had ran the fitness gram pacer test and was staring to reach sixty. 

Remus went down again, and this time, he knew they wouldn’t get back up. Even his tentacles, which at one point had carried him completely, had run out of energy. He couldn’t even feel them anymore, as they had vanished. 

Fear bolted through him, and Remus wanted to get up. He had to get away.  
But he was tired, so tired, and just didn’t have the energy to get running again.

He should get up and run. That was the logical thing to do, after all. He got hurt when he didn’t run, so running would be the logical thing to do. But he was tired. So tired. So what if he got hurt? According to the sheet, he couldn’t get killed. Remus could just lay here for a bit and then he would feel better.

Remus felt a sudden urge to lie. He wasn’t sure why. His lungs and legs didn’t care about the lies he fed them, all they cared about was how much they hurt.

He lay on the ground, too tired to even was think about how tired he was. A nap sounded amazing. Maybe he could just lay here for a while. It might not make anything better, but it would also not make anything worse. A neutral decision. 

Remus’ eyes felt heavy. 

_Freak. Fuck up. Useless._

The voice was back. Great. 

_Unlovable. Deceit hates you. Stop lying._

“Liar.” Remus said. The paper said that Dee was his friend. Why would it say that unless it was true?

_You’re just trying to make yourself feel better. You know that it’s fake._

“Fake?” Remus repeated. _Was_ it fake? He couldn’t remember this ‘Deceit’, so he couldn’t have even been that important to him.

_Fake. Stupid. ___

__Remus sat up slowly. “Listen, Mx. Voice, can you just like...leave me alone?”__

____

_Someone’s got to tell you the truth. The Others can’t hide behind their cushy lies anymore._

___“Okay, I get that I’m a screwup. Whatever. But do I have to stay in the forest?”_  
_ _

__

_Well..._

__

__The forest melted around them, changing into a small, dark room._ _

__

_Better, you needy little fuck?_

__

__“I-I-“_ _

__

___What, you worthless being?_ _ _

__

__“Where are you?”_ _

__

__Lights flooded the cabin, and Remus could see that the room was all white and grey, the only decorations being a faint armchair upon a figure sat._ _

__

__The figure on the chair looked like Virgil, if Virgil had never decided that full punk didn’t look good on him. He was wearing a choker, a black shirt, black skirt, pretty much black everything. Even his hair was black. “I don’t know why I’m showing myself to someone like _you_.”_ _

__

__“Terrible judgment on your part.” Remus agreed, sitting crisscross in front of him._ _

__

__“Hatred.” Hatred said, after a moments hesitation. “Ze/Zem/Zir.”_ _

__

__“Remus. He-“ He hesitated. “He/them.” Saying it aloud sounded...right. Right in a way that nothing else really did._ _

__

__Hatred clapped zir hands. “So, I got no real reason for you to stay, other than you got caught by one of my Shadows. Any idea why you let that happen?”_ _

__

___Yes._ Remus wanted to say. “What are you?”_ _

__

__“Hatred?” Ze said, raising an eyebrow. “I thought that was clear.”_ _

__

__“But are you a side?”_ _

__

__“Answer my question first.” Hatred barked._ _

__

__“I didn’t let it happen.” Remus said._ _

__

__Hatred hummed. “Sure.”_ _

__

__“I didn’t!”_ _

__

__“Let’s try this, instead,” Ze said, leaning forward and cupping zir head into one of zir hands. “You believe that you let Guard die. You think that if you had stopped Roman’s healing spell, they would have lived.”_ _

__

__Remus wasn’t quite sure what Hatred was talking about, but the words rang clear in his head. “I’m not quite sure...”_ _

__

__“Oh, the memory thing.” Hatred said, clapping zir hands. Remus felt everything rush back, creating quite the dizzy spell. Suddenly, he remembered Ermando and Elaine and the other sides, how could he forget, Guard and the seizures and-_ _

__

__“Holy shit, Remu, calm down.” Hatred said, sitting down on the floor next to them. “I can’t control your physical body, but you’re giving your friends quite the scare.”_ _

__

__“Michal and Ermando and the Hatred and the walls and the Apathy and-“ He continued to ramble, aware of Hatred’s efforts to stop him but unable to stop the words flowing out of their mouth._ _

__

__“Hey. HEY! Remus. Breathe with me, okay?” Hatred started to take exaggerated breaths. Remus started to breathe with zem, and eventually the rambling slowed._ _

__

__Remus looked up at zem guiltily. “Uh...”_ _

__

__“Whatever.” Hatred said, shrugging. “I’ll let you ask the first question.”_ _

__

__“What are you? Are you a side?”_ _

__

__“Well, technically, no. I’m not. But at the same time, yeah. I mean, I’m like in the middle of what Virgil is and a function. So like, Thomas couldn’t live without me but he’ll never know I’m here.”_ _

__

__“What do you mean, ‘what Virgil is’? He’s a side.”_ _

__

__“Not your turn, worthless. And, that’s for Virgil to tell you. Here’s my question: what made you lose against the Shadow?”_ _

__

__“Broke my leg, and Dee took my magic.”_ _

__

__“Hm. Didn’t know he could do that.”_ _

__

__“My turn. Why do you call everyone worthless and stuff?”_ _

__

__By the look on Hatred’s face, he could tell that this was a sore spot. “Why do you have Intrusive Thoughts? Why does Virgil have anxiety? It’s my job. Back off. My turn. Why do you think telling Roman about the corruption barrier would have saved Guard?”_ _

__

__Remus felt his heart almost stop. “What?”_ _

__

__“Oh, not that they were going to die. But, does Roman even know about the corruption barrier at all?”_ _

__

__“I don’t-yeah.”_ _

__

__“You _sure_?” Hatred asked him, zir eyes gleaming. “Cause I don’t think he does. Do you really believe that Roman would purposely hurt Guard?”_ _

__

__“I...” Fuck. Did he? “Maybe? Am I a bad sibling?”_ _

__

__“What makes someone bad? Is it how other people see them, or how they see themselves?”_ _

__

__“How...other people see them?”_ _

__

__Hatred snapped zir fingers, pulling it into a finger gun. “Bingo, stupid. So, would _Roman_ say that you’re a bad sibling? I think you’ll need to ask Roman that.”_ _

__

__“But-he hates me. He won’t try to talk.”_ _

__

__“Does he? He was trying to help Guard. Not really his fault someone didn’t tell him about the corruption border.”_ _

__

__“So Guard’s death _was_ my fault?”_ _

__

__“Not really. Both yes and no. Roman should have known about the border, but he didn’t. You should have told him about the border, but you didn’t. Guard shouldn’t have gotten attacked by my Shadow in the first place, cause Remy should have gotten it. Just a whole jumble of mishaps. But don’t feel guilty.”_ _

__

__“Why shouldn’t I?”_ _

__

__“You’ll only feel bad about it for the rest of your life, letting it weigh on your conscious until I eventually move in, creating a spiral of thoughts that’ll eventually lead to you trying to kill yourself.” Hatred said. “You’ll only feel as much bad as you do guilty.”_ _

__

__“Uh...” Remus said, a little shocked._ _

__

__“Yeah. Grief is important to deal with straight away. I highkey still only exist cause of Virgie, and he doesn’t even know I exist. Part of the perks of being a half side.”_ _

__

__“My turn. How did Virgil create you?”_ _

__

__“Oh, well, not really Virgil. Thomas did. I just split off from Vee, like you and Roman. Us three. Anxiety, Self-Hatred, and Depression. We all formed during puberty. Irgie’s only more solid cause he was fear first, so he first split off from Pat-it’s all really complicated.”_ _

__

__“So you represent Thomas’ self hatred? Why aren’t you as like, ‘solid’ as Virge?”_ _

__

__“Well, Loathing and Anger kinda stole my jig, and Thomas learned to accept himself-actually, the start of the Sanders Sides helped push me back even further. I’m really only here cause of the balance, which smartass Logan can tell you all about. My turn. Do you wanna wake up now?”_ _

__

__“What?”_ _

__

__“I can force you out of the realm. You’ll wake up and use this knowledge about how Guard’s death wasn’t you fault. You’ll tell Roman about the corruption barrier, and everything will be fine.”_ _

__

__“That’s not-“_ _

__

__“Oh, and come out as a non-binary demiboy.”_ _

__

__“How did you-“_ _

__

__“Worthless, I know everything. I can literally see it rolling off of you. You’re having lots of doubt about your gender and berating yourself over not being cis like Thomathy. Idk, it’s up to you, but I think it would help.”_ _

__

__“And if I did want to go back to the mindscape?” Remus asked, changing topics. “Would I ever see you again?”_ _

__

__Hatred scoffed. “I don’t know why you’d wanna.”_ _

__

__“Well,” Remus said, flushing, “I’ve learned a lot. And, you’re nice.”_ _

__

__“So, you want to use me for personal gain?”_ _

__

__“What?! No! I-“_ _

__

__“Chill, stupid, I’m kidding. Probably not. I’m barely able to create the Shadows, and it’s so much easier to form thought in here.”_ _

__

__“Maybe it’s cause’ no one even knows you exist.” Remus snarked. “Just a thought.”_ _

__

__“Look, I’ve survived fine without them knowing. Besides, I’m a terrible person. All I ever do is hurt Thomas.”_ _

__

__“What makes someone bad? Is it how other people see them, or how they see themselves?”_ _

__

__Hatred snorted. “Bitch. You know at the very least Pat’s gonna hate me.”_ _

__

__Remus hummed. “Why do you think that?”_ _

__

__“Stoppp.” Hatred whined. “I get to be the bitchy therapist. Not you.”_ _

__

__Remus softened. “Well, I know at the very least, I can get Roman to like you.”_ _

__

__Hatred snorted. “Bet. His ego and my self-depreciation?”_ _

__

__“Logan?”_ _

__

__“None of my thought are logical or make any real sense.”_ _

__

__“Virgil?”_ _

__

__“Hasn’t seen me in years. Doubt he remembers I exist.”_ _

__

__“You said you two used to be really close!”_ _

__

__“Key word ‘used’ to be.”_ _

__

__“I’m starting to doubt you want to leave.”_ _

__

__“Ah, and there’s the kicker.” Hatred said. “The root of my problems. I’m as stuck here as you, worth-Remus.” Ze rubbed zir hair nervously._ _

__

__“Why?”_ _

__

__“I don’t know. Never really tried. Don’t have a place outside, might as well make in here mine.”_ _

__

__“You haven’t even tried?”_ _

__

__“Well, not exactly...”_ _

__

__“Then how do you know you’re stuck?”_ _

__

__“There’s no place for me in the mindscape, why would it let me in?”_ _

__

__“Wow, okay, and there’s where Logan comes in.”_ _

__

__“Huh?”_ _

__

__“You are using circular reasoning. It is stupid.” Remus said, in a bad attempt at intimidating Logan. “It is illogical to make an assumption without any data backing it up.”_ _

__

__“Okay, stop. One, that’s a terrible impression, and two, I’m the bitchy therapist.”_ _

__

__“You’ll never know until you try, Hatred.”_ _

__

__“Hallie.”_ _

__

__“What?”_ _

__

__“My name,” Ze said, glancing up at Remus with tears in zir eyes, “Is Hallie.”_ _

__

__“Nice to meet you, Hallie. I’m Remus and welcome back to the Disney Channel.” He then moved his ‘wand’ in the Micky shape, while singing the song._ _

__

__His heart soared when he realized that he had gotten Hallie to laugh. “Punk.” Ze said, punching him._ _

__

__“Come with me.” Remus said. “Come to the mindscape with me. If the others don’t like you, which I’m sure they will, but if they don’t, I’ll stick up for you. By your side.”_ _

__

__“Remus...”_ _

__

__“Please?” He said, glancing at zem. “I don’t...think I could go back there alone.”_ _

__

__Hallie groaned loudly, in the way people do when trying to convince themselves of something. “Fine. But I can’t just jump out with you. I’ll be at the border, near that only treehouse you built that one time.”_ _

__

__Remus squealed. “You won’t regret i!”_ _

__

__“I already do.” Ze smiled. “Ready to go back?”_ _

__

__“I think so.”_ _

__

__“Okay, this might hurt a little.” Ze said, grabbing Remus’ hand. “See you soon.”_ _

__

__“See you soon, dumbass.”_ _

__

__Hallie closed zir eyes, and Remus felt a tug. They closed their eyes as well, and the then he opened them and he was on the couch._ _

__

__“REMUS!” Roman shouted._ _

__

__“I’m not sorry,” Deceit sobbed. “I’m so, so, sorry. I knew that it would-“_ _

__

__“Whatever. It’s fine.” Remus said, jumping up. He pushed past the circle of people and ran to the border, searching for a particular treehouse._ _

__

__He reached the base, but Hallie wasn’t anywhere to be seen. Ze had promised-surely Ze wouldn’t go back on zir word?_ _

__

__“Remus!” Someone shouted from behind them. They whipped around, face dropping when he saw it was Virgil. “The hell, man?”_ _

__

__“Where are ze?” He asked, his voice hoarse._ _

__

__“Where’s who?”_ _

__

__“Hey, worthless!” Shouted a familiar voice. “Oh, it’s scaredy-cat too. Sup?”_ _

__

__Remus ran to them. “You came!”_ _

__

__“I promised I would, didn’t I?”_ _

__

__“...Harry?” Virgil asked. He looked equal parts exasperated and sad._ _

__

__“Virgie. It’s..Hallie, now.”_ _

__

__Virgil scrunched his eyebrows. “She/her?”_ _

__

__“Ze/zem.” Hallie said._ _

__

__“And if you don’t accept zem I will kill you.” Remus threatened._ _

__

__“Worthless, stop. We talked about this. No killing the others.”_ _

__

__He could see Virgil’s questioning glance at ‘worthless’, but he could tell him later._ _

__

__“There you are.” Roman gasped, out of breath. “Who’s that?”_ _

__

__“Hallie.” Remus said. “My friend.”_ _

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hoped you liked this adventure! This is the first story I’ve finished, so it holds a special place in my heart.
> 
> Thank you for all the kind kudos and comments! I hoped you had as much fun reading this as I did writing it!

**Author's Note:**

> This story is part of the LLF Comment Project, which was created to improve communication between readers and authors. This author invites and appreciates feedback, including:  
> * Short comments  
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> * Questions  
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